Pretentious Coffee Orders for Non-pretentious People

Tired of repeating my meticulous coffee order, and still getting it wrong. For a whopping $5 I expect to start my morning off right. Not pretentious, just entitled to what I paid for.

PS. Also as an ex-barista, the order in which something is done affects the taste of the coffee, thus why you are able to change the order of operations, for example pouring ice before or after the coffee.