As A Fighter

In recent years, I strongly feel like I would love to make the most of my experiences. Some of my friends said because I have personally experienced mental health issues, they feel secure confiding their own struggles in me. This has led me to consider sharing my story with a wider audience. Some of my friends told me when they were suicidal, they couldn’t talk about it with anyone. They lost friends who couldn’t understand their feelings. I’ve experienced the exact same thing.

Currently, I’m in the midst of experiencing a bottomless depression for the second time in my life. I grapple with brain fog every day, and my physical health is poor. For the last few years, I’ve struggled with burnout, insomnia, and learned helplessness. I feel drained every day. Last few years, I had been almost bedridden. Life has been just filled with depression that has been insufferable. Last year, I tried several new antidepressants, but sadly, none of them worked for me. Since last October, I have also developed a new respiratory issue. I feel suffocated (literally); the condition makes it hard for me to eat and sleep at times.

If you have the option, it’s advisable to reach out to a licensed professional, as that would be the best course of action. However, I know it’s not accessible for everyone, and I’ve encountered difficulties in finding an appropriate doctor (and I’m still struggling with it).

When I feel down, I often feel guilty about how I feel because I recognise how fortunate I am in many ways. At first glance, I would look like an ordinary girl. However, I’ve long been depressed.

I know it can be difficult to validate your emotions at times, but please acknowledge and validate your feelings. Please listen to yourself. You deserve to express what you feel, no matter how dark those emotions may seem.