Existential Crisis Man

When I was in 6th grade, we had an assignment to imagine ourselves as a superhero, but our superhero name had to be a play off of our actual name. We also had to draw it out. The time allotted was 15 minutes. All I could come up with in the short amount of time was "Phill-adephia Cream Cheese Monsoon Man." I was pretty proud of it. Imagine turning into a monsoon made of Philadelphia cream cheese. Well, my teacher gave it one look and said "seriously? This is what you came up with?" I was devastated and immediately questioned my entire identity up to that point. A kid two desks from me named Tom came up with Tom-ato Man and got an A. His drawing was a Tomato with a face on it. I can attribute this moment to my emergence as Existential Crisis Man.