Shame & Medicine: Triggers

I was commissioned by the University of Exeter and Duke University, USA, to illustrate the emerging research from their ‘Shame and Medicine’ project, a multi-year project exploring shame in many facets of medicine, funded by the Wellcome Trust. I created 4 illustrations, based on interviews with American medical students, about their experiences of shame. These illustrations will be used to disseminate the research (with an academic audience) and will also be used as learning/teaching resources (with medical educators and students).

Inspiration:

This first illustration shows a scenario where shame might be triggered:

- A group of students on a ward, gather around the ‘attendant’ (educator), and one student raises their hand to ask a question.

- The attendant zeroes-in on the student, causing them to feel exposed and put on the spot (bottom left).

- Now (in the centre) we see the student feeling completely exposed, with a rising sense of humiliation and panic; their perception of their environment and fellow students is distorted by how self-conscious they feel. They anticipate the judgement of others which almost burns them; their body feels hot, too big and too visible.

- Next (to the right) we see the student has had to escape into a bathroom cubicle, leaving a trail behind them. They do not feel totally ‘in’ their body; they are overwhelmed and need to hide and regain a sense of grounding and safety. They can’t bear people to see them like this. 

Method:

The textured elements in the background of the drawing, and the trail under the cubicle, were created using black ink and a sponge, on paper, which was scanned and manipulated in Photoshop. The rest of the image was rendered digitally.

Turnaround Time

This image went through 4 rounds of changes, and including these adjustments took approximately 15 hours to complete.