The Darkness Within

After talking to my brother all the bad memories started to rush back through my mind again leaving tears treating to spill down my face while I'm riding my horse up to the mountains at breakneck speed. I remember a time when I couldn't close my eyes without the picture of what I have done racing to my mind. Anger towards him made the monster within me rise to the fore leaving my hands dirty. Forever stained with the red substance that is warm then gets too cold too quickly as the life drains away with it. This is why I can't think about this if I want to heal. I feel like salt has been poured on my fresh wound. I remember how my sweet Emily had told me to be strong and to live happily.
I need to see the beauty that she saw
Feel the caresses of the wind
The music that the birds make
The wonder of the trees and land
I needed to understand all of this in her little world that I never had the chance to know.